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Am I being too hard on my son?

Author : magix151

Submitted : 2018-01-14 02:32:17    Popularity:     

Tags: hard  son  

My son is 15 years old. He gets amazing grades in school and in return I reward him with various things he wants (apple tv, new iphone, PS4, a tarantula, and new shoes). At home he is very uncooperative and ignores things I tell him to do so as punishment

Answers:

No. You must stand your ground. The rewards for his grades. The punishment is for his bad behavior. Taking away some of those things, or all, is appropriate for his attitude. Don't give in. Don't give anything back until he earns it with respect for your rules.

You haven't been hard ENOUGH on him! If my 15-year-old son had EVER tried to punch me, I would have done a lot worse to him than "penning him down until he relaxed". I would have beat his butt so hard he wouldn't have been able to sit down for a month!
I suggest you do the same thing, and stop "rewarding" him for good grades with expensive items. Enforce the rule of no girls in his room, unless you want to become a grandmother in the near future.

Since you have given him nice things, taking those things away will naturally draw this kind of reaction. It's better to start them with only nature and the basics and not introduce advanced things until late elementary or middle school and work up slowly. This is how my sister and I were raised (gifts wise) and we appreciate everything we have. If there was earlier nice things, it belonged to our parents, and we would always ask politiely before being allowed to use it, understanding that there was always a chance the answer would be no.

Since it's already reached this stage, all of that can be disregarded. There is no way to start over that won't drive your son to extreme reactionary action.

Allow your son to keep one of the devices--whichever he chooses--because it will help ground him and give him an outlet to calm down. Do not leave him with nothing.

My friend had a stepmother who thought that kind of discipline worked. She became stressed. She spent time with a male friend (nothing sexual) so she would feel like somebody cared about her. Her stepmother wasn't happy with her behavior and went as far as taking her door away. Her bedroom had no door. Within two weeks, my friend had broken down and needed to be admitted to a mental hospital. She recovered quickly under their care. The psychologists said in their evaluation that it was the stepmother's actions that were to blame.

I'm not accusing you of being psychotic like that woman. I just want to make the point that young people need solid things they can ground themselves with. The more you take away, the more erratic they will become.

Next, I would recommend allowing the son to have girls in his room as long as you're somewhere in the house. If you ban that and they feel like having sex, they will do it where you don't know about it. You need to keep sneaky behaviors as close to you as you can, so you can quickly act if things get out of hand.

As for the violence, I don't know what to say. I hope it was a one time thing.

heck no you are doing good I would get parenting classes for more ideas as what to do It helps.

You have to come down even harder. In my house arguing with an adult is not allowed because it is disrespectful. And when disrespect is shown, grounding without electronics will become their reality. Eventually he will learn who makes the rules and that they must be followed. Every time you allow him to get away with arguing or physically challenging you, you are offering him a chance to repeat the behavior.

No girls behind closed doors in my room was the rule in my house. Girls in my room? fine as long as the door is open, sounds reasonable. He needs to get his act together, stay strong, sell his stuff, they take up less space when you can fit them into your wallet

Make him wear a Trump shirt.

Don't buy him everything. Make him work for his extras.

He's acting this way because he's a spoiled brat. He's a spoiled brat because that's how you raised him

Maybe he's too accustomed to being rewarded for things that aren't due rewards.



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